Clit sensitivity can turn into a major setback for female pleasure. If nothing is done to avoid it, nothing else but discouragement comes from clitoral stimulation. In this article, I will share the most common reasons for this problem and 9 expert tips for avoiding clit sensitivity.
If I describe the issue that so many women have in both solo sex and sex with a partner, it would go as follows. First, you start getting aroused, the clitoris starts growing larger as a response to pleasurable stimulation, you feel more and more aroused, and right before hitting the orgasmic peak you just can’t bear touching the clit anymore. It is painful, swollen, and totally not in the mood for any more stimulation. You are left unsatisfied, as if you have missed out on the best part of the game. What happened?
4 Common Mistakes that Lead to Clit Sensitivity
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Pressing too hard
One of the main causes of clit sensitivity is that either you or your partner are pressing it too hard during stimulation. Did you know that clitoris has over 8000 highly sensitive nerve endings? Clit stimulation should consist of subtle movements, light touches and pressure that is built up as arousal builds up, but which never goes extreme. It is easy to get too excited when stimulating the clitoris and start rubbing very hard, especially if you are doing it for your partner. However, remember that very few women can get pleasure from such intense stimulation.
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Moving too fast
Once again, the clit does not like extreme intensity. In a certain mood, on a specific day, a woman’s body responds to clit stimulation differently. Going too slow might get you exactly nowhere in terms of satisfaction; moving too fast, however, causes clitoris to swell up and become extremely sensitive to any kind of touches.
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Touching clit directly instead of massaging it through the hood
It is important to understand that there are different kinds of clitoral hoods – every labia is completely unique! A clit can be completely covered, semi-covered and totally uncovered, and this impacts the way you experience clitoral pleasure massively. For a woman whose clitoral hood is barely covering the clit (note that this is not a good or bad thing, it is just a beautiful difference), it is especially important to avoid direct touches. Massaging through the hood can greatly improve the situation by lowering your clit’s sensitivity to touches and enhancing pleasure.
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Going over the “edge” before climaxing
When you are moments away from climaxing, teasing the clit instead of letting it climax can ruin all the pleasure and leave you with an overly sensitive clitoris. This is a type of extreme arousal when you cannot orgasm anymore, and it happens because you or your partner keep postponing the climax. It is highly important to start applying more pressure on the clit in order to reach orgasm; waiting too long is completely unnecessary. If you are struggling to show your partner that they should be letting you climax, talk to them about it. Be best way of achieving mind-blowing climaxes and minimising discomfort is open communication. Explain when exactly and what they should do, and practice will make them perfect!
9 Expert Tips:
How to stimulate the clit without making it too sensitive?
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Touch around the clit rather than the clit itself.
Instead of stimulating the clit directly (especially if it is not covered by the clitoral hood), try massaging around the clitoris. This does not reduce pleasure but reduces the risk of painful sensitivity considerably. Remember that the clitoris is not just a little red button; it extends under the labia. Therefore, stimulating the labia minora on both sides of the clit without directly approaching it can greatly improve your pleasure.
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Experiment with movements
Another reason why your clit can dislike its stimulation is the monotonous movements you are using. While some women enjoy rubbing in the same direction, others prefer more randomized and unexpected stimulation. Here are some strategies you might want to consider when pleasuring your clit the next time:
- Circling means going around the clitoris with fingers or tongue without directly touching it and using different levels of pressure and intensity.
- Zig-zag movements are harder to do with fingers, yet intensely pleasurable for the clit, as they add an element of unpredictability.
- Pressing, instead of stroking, is another approach. If you feel that rubbing makes your clitoris sensitive, try pressing your palm against the clit and the wings and moving very slowly while increasing pressure. This kind of stimulation is more forceful and not as direct and can easily solve the problem of increased sensitivity.
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Have more fun
Sometimes focusing on reaching orgasm can be exactly the thing that doesn’t let you climax. It is easy to say “Stop overthinking”, but releasing your mind from stress, overblown expectations and a sense of unfulfillment can greatly increase your levels of pleasure. Try to relax and enjoy the sexual vibe that is bonding you and your partner, or fully enjoy the sexual fantasies you are visualizing while masturbating. Focus on having fun from clitoral stimulation, as this might be the key to avoiding sensitivity.
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Figure it out together with your partner
If you can reach an orgasm while masturbating without getting overly sensitive but are struggling to do the same with a partner, the best piece of advice is to show them exactly how you like it. I am being literal here – turn the heat up by letting your partner watch you masturbate. This can help them understand what kind of stimulation pleasures your clitoris instead of annoying it. In addition, this can be extremely attractive for the partner, no matter if it is a guy or a girl.
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Preserve the wetness
Keep in mind that clitoral pleasure is impossible without plenty of moisture. The reason for the extreme clit sensitivity might be that you are rubbing dry fingers again dry clitoris, and there is nothing possibly more painful than that. If you feel that clit sensitivity is starting to increase to uncomfortable level, get your or your partner’s fingers moist and go on. This can be a seductive move with a bit of sucking on your partner’s fingers. Keep it sexy, there’s no need to make it awkward. If dryness is the problem, then this should solve the sensitivity issue and let you continue towards the climax without further issues.
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Try a mini vibrator or a clitoral vibrator
Avoiding clitoral oversensitivity and pain during stimulation can be a whole lot easier with a handy little sex toy. Imagine – all the pain gone just with the help of a little clitoral vibrator. The way it affects the clitoris is completely different from fingers, as you can regulate the power, intensity and patterns of movement. Therefore, it’s easy to control your pleasure. Take a look at our best clitoral vibrators’ selection to find the right clitoral vibe for yourself. Also, don’t forget that you can also introduce a vibrator to sex with your partner. Here’s a detailed guide how to start using a vibrator with your partner.
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Try the tongue
Once you feel the sensitivity raising and your mind going outside the comfort zone, tell your partner to switch from fingers to tongue. The kind of stimulation achieved by tongue movements are way subtler, and there is less risk of pressing too hard or moving too fast. Circling around the clit or doing zig-zag movements can be extremely pleasurable without causing pre-climactic sensitivity.
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Loosen up your expectations
One more trap that I’d like to mention is that of expectations. Several of the women I teach have done their own research on how an orgasm should feel, how to achieve it and what not to do. Sometimes the sources they use are shady, to say the least. Articles about “mind-blowing orgasms” can be problematic, because they raise expectations and are barely realistic. I would advise letting go of these expectations and simply enjoying the process of clitoral stimulation. If you feel like the pleasure is building up, your body shudders, and then the clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch, you might have actually had an orgasm. This is a typical response you should get after climaxing, and if you continue stimulation there is no wonder that it hurts. Just keep that in mind next time.
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Practice, practice, practice
Try again and again until you find the best way of achieving pleasure. Remember that our bodies are absolutely unique, and there is no universal formula of success for female climaxes. And stick to the golden rules: not too much pressure, not too fast, not too direct.
Final thoughts
In this guide for overcoming clit sensitivity before orgasming, I have pointed out some of the main causes of this problem, as well as suggested 9 solutions for different cases of clit sensitivity. Now it is your turn to try these solutions on your own or with your partner. Remember that pleasure takes practice. And practice takes time.